Today is Father’s Day

To all of you who have not heard yet. Today is Father’s Day.

A day on which some people celebrate, and others are sad.

To me, it is a day of remembrance.

I remember words that have been said to me.

“You are so good to (and for) our children. One day you would be a good dad.”

“You are like a father to me. Thank you for everything you taught me, for your good example.”

“Thank you for all the trouble you go through for our children.”

Recently (December 2020) I “celebrated” 21 years in ministry. I am in ministry for more than 21 years. Mostly youth ministry. I remember most of my big decision. Every time I chose to put other people’s needs before mine.

That is, after all, what ministry is about. To be the least, so others can be more. Not for your own sake, but for the kingdom of God!

I have always made my decisions so that I can serve others. I struggle with “putting myself first; thinking about myself for a change”. I have never done this ministry work to be seen, to get recognition, or even to be thanked.

But today is Father’s Day.

Today I am not giving one message. Not a good wish. Not one “happy Father’s Day”. No breakfast in bed.

Because I am not a father, after all. I am not such a “good dad” as everyone always said I would be – because I am not a dad! For all those “you are like I father to me” words, I can show today that I am most likely merely a memory. If I am a memory…

One other piece of wisdom someone shared to me years ago, when I had to decide whether I should study further – also in ministry.

One of my heroes and examples in life told me: “Do not put your life on hold for them. In three years time they won’t even think about you.”

In that specific time, there were a group of children I was working with… Children who meant everything to me. Today I am not even hearing anything from them. Most of them are married and have their own children. I am really happy for them.

I am really happy for each child I ever knew, in whose life I could have a positive influence. Everyone I could help in some way or another.

But today is Father’s Day.

And I am alone…