Someone once told me that people have three types of people on their phone’s contact list:
- Friends
- Acquaintances
- Contacts
He left out two other types, even though I will show that these two types fit easily into the first three types:
- Colleagues
- Family
I would like to write a few words about each of these types of people. I merely Googled the words, as you will see throughout this post.
Definitions and explanations
Google search defines a friend as “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations”. Mirriam-Webster (online) describes a friend as “one attached to another by affection or esteem”, and “one that is not hostile”. Dictionary.com describes a friend as “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard”, “a person who gives assistance”, and “a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile”.
According to Google, an acquaintance is “a person one knows slightly, but not a close friend”. Mirriam-Webster (online) says that an acquaintance is “a person whom one knows but who is not a particularly close friend”. Dictionary.com describes an acquaintance as “a person known to one, but usually not a close friend”.
“Contact” in this context, is difficult. I had to search “business contact” to find definitions for the word “contact” in this context. “Business contact”, according to Google, “means any communication, contact or interaction which takes place in the context of establishing, developing, maintaining, servicing or otherwise furthering a business relationship or transaction…”.
A colleague, according to Google, is “a person with whom one works in a profession or business. Mirriam-Webster (online) gives a more detailed definition: “an associate or coworker typically in a profession or a civil or ecclesiastical office and often of similar rank or state … a fellow worker or professional”.
Google describes family in two ways. A family is “a group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit”, and “all the descendants of a common ancestor”. Mirriam-Webster (online) defines family in similar ways. A family is “the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children”, but adds a further explanation: “also: any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family”. The second definition of family, is “a group of persons of common ancestry” and “a people or group of peoples regarded as deriving from a common stock”. Dictionary.com describes family as “a basic social unit consisting of parents and their children, considered as a group, whether dwelling together or not”, as “a social unit consisting of one or more adults together with the children they care for”, as “the children of one person or one couple collectively”, as “the spouse and children of one person”, and as “any group of people closely related by blood or marriage, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins”.
Friends, acquaintances, contacts
During a conversation with an acquaintance of mine (someone I actually “mis-labelled” as a friend at one time), this person described the three types as follows:
A contact are all those “people” (it might sometimes be the number of the business) that you will contact if you need a specific service or product. You will most likely not be calling these people outside office hours.
An acquaintance is someone you will contact if you are in need of some service of product, who will refer you to someone else. As an example, he described a scenario in which your car doesn’t work. Your acquaintance will likely give you the number to someone (or a company) that can be contacted to handle the problem.
A friend is that person who will go out of his/her way to help you, no matter what time of day or night.
Colleagues and family
Strictly speaking, these are two more types of people you have on your phone. However, these two types of people can be sorted into the previous three types. Some colleagues can be as reliable as a close friends, while some family members could merely be a contact on your phone.
My lessons in friendship
I have been learning some lessons in friendship over the past few years.
One important thing I have learned about friendship, is based on what I wrote above. It is important to distinguish between the categories. And be careful not to put someone in the wrong category.
I have come to realize that I tend to put people into the wrong category to often. It tends to lead to wrong and unfulfilled expectations and can cause hurt easily.
This is just one of many lessons in friendship I have learned over the past few years. Over the next few weeks, I will come back to this topic of lessons learned regarding friendship.
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